The Hero Saga Phase 1
by Dr.Mr.Cheeto
Summary: A group of unlikely heroes, and maybe retards (or just jam) team up to fight an unknown threat.
1. The Hero

As aspiring soccer player Jam Sackson said: "I was a FUCKING hero." His story begins on a chilly August day when the principle of Larry Meridian High school came on the intercom and said: "This is a Code Red Lockdown". Jam and some of his friends start to run. They soon ran into the shooter. In less than a second, Jam unarmed our shooter and kicked him to the ground. "Good job Jam," said one of Jam's friends, before tragedy struck. In a moment of rage, Jam picked up the gun and shot our shooter 34 times in the face before Jam was tackled to the ground by a nearby student. The Shooters face was unidentifiable, although later d.n.a test revealed it was Spence Danger.

Jam was arrested for possession of a firearm within school and manslaughter. His punishment, life without parole. While in prison, Jam met Mohamed Atta (33) and Wail al-Shehri (28), members of Al-Qaeda. They saw Jam on the news and wanted to invite him on their "Jihad of the west". They told Jam that if he wanted redemption to Allah, he had to do as they said. Jam was hesitant at first, stating "Well shit, that's something I need to think about." But eventually, he agreed when he was offered 72 Virgins and a free Quran in heaven.

Now all the 3 needed to do was escape the prison. The Al-Qaeda members suggested suicide bombings, but Jam was smarter. With the simple phrase "gay people are kinda crazy nowadays" the prison was in a riot. This was the perfect time to escape. They easily walked through the front gate as no guards were guarding it.

Now that Jam and the two al-Queda members were out of prison, they went to a local Wendys to plan their "Jihad". They decided that Jam would run into an elementary school and blow himself up. Secretly, Jam had other plans, he would give a bomb backpack to a 3rd grader and blow it up at lunch. After they planned they went to Benns valley Elementary school to execute the plan. Jam went in and gave his "backpack" to a 3rd grader named Micheal. He told him not to open it and bring it to lunch. At noon, the Bomb detonated, killing 74 kids and 21 staff. Jam came back to tell comrades of his success, But when he came back, the al-Queda members pointed guns at Jam. "What the frick broskis, I killed all the youngsters like you asked" proclaimed Jam. "You were supposed to die to you little chicken shit," said the al-Queda members in unison. Jam then kicked both of the guns out of their hands and killed them like he killed Spence danger earlier.

When police arrived, he surrendered, stating" I did good today, stopping al-Queda, I'm a hero!"

A police officer went up to Jam and bitch slapped him saying "Nigga the fuck you mean I did good, you fucking blew up a god damn elementary school, killed a fuck ton of children, escaped prison, and converted to Islam, god damn goatfucker, All in the Same fucking day, we don't need the Judge for this one, fucking firing squad this niggas ass!"

Jam said, "I'm a Fucking Hero" before being knocked unconscious and stuffed into the back of the police cruiser.

The trial was fairly straightforward, Jam was sentenced to death by firing squad for fucking killing 74 children(shocking right). I was at his execution. His last words were "I lived a hero and I'll die a hero", before getting gunned down.


	2. The FreddyStone

"Son, don't be like me..." Said Molex Aore, shaving a rather fine looking beard.

"Why Pa," Said Molex's Son whose name shall be revealed later in the plot to make the story more dramatic

GOD DAMMIT, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTERRUPT ME, AND CALL ME DADDY YOU GAYBO". Said Molex, putting down his razor and picking up his belt to beat the living fuck out of to be named son.

"OH FUCK, IM SORRY DADDY," said the son, cowering in fear as the very muscular Molex BEAT THE ACTUAL FUCK OUT OF HIM. Molex hit his retarded son so hard that he passed out.

"Like I was saying, don't be like me fuck face, and here's why".

Our story starts on chilly August day (Sound Familiar). I was driving down the street in the finest looking clown car in the whole city when I noticed something ... Eye-catching. So me, being the extremely cool guy that I am, decide to go and investigate.

What I saw made me feel fear for the first time in a long time. Not even my year in made me this scared.

"Why the FUCK is there a bunch of Autistic Little boys in FNAF clothing waiting outside this GameStop". I screamed, making all the retards flee in terror. I walked into the GameStop to ask the owner what is going on.

Naw, I'm just fucking with Y'all, I pulled out a handgun and ran into the store to demand answers.

"WHO THE FUCK THE OWNER OF THIS SHIT SHACK" I yelled as all the weak pussies fell to the floor.

"The Owner of this "Shit Shack" would be I, Logan Paul," said Shit Shack owner Logan Paul.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

"ANYONE ELSE WANT TO BE SMART WITH THE ARMED AND VERY DANGEROUS GUNMAN".

"Actually, its hand gunman," Said Jake Paul, Co-Owner of SHITSHACK, as he was walking out of the back.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

"What a couple of retards huh," Said I reloading his handgun.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" cried a baby.

"WHO THE FUCK IS THAT" I FUCKING yelled.

"Oh, that's just my baby I left In the Car," Said a very fine looking woman. When I say fine, I fucking mean MIA KALIFA FUCKING FINE.

"Hey babe, I think you're a very responsible and loving mother, go outside and put that baby in my clown car and wait there until my business is finished in here," I said, grabbing her big floppy titties.

"Whatever you say BIG BOY," said the woman, leaving the store.

"Can I go to, I'm her Husband?" said her Husband.

"Correction, was," I said, putting my gun to his dick

"WOAH, okokokokok, she's yours, just don't do anything drastic... FUUUUUUUUCK" Said Her EX Husband as he fell to the floor with Nine FUCKING BULLETS IN THE AREA THAT WAS ONCE A MALES PENIS.

"OK, I Need to know which of you FNAF loving niggas is the strongest" I yelled at 3 tall African American niggas.

"Well, don't mean to toot my ow..." Was this nigga had time to say before nine bullets went through his Empty NIGGA Skull.

"FOOTBALL CAPTAIN TYRONE MCNIGGA, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Said the second strongest Nigga.

"You, Nigga that just yelled, you look strong, hold this bag for me, BUT I SWEAR TO MOTHA FUCKING GOD, IF YOU DARE OPEN THAT DAMN BAG, I WILL LITERALLY SKULL FUCK YOU STRAIGHT TO GODDAMN NIGGER HELL!" I whispered. "Now I'll be right back, I need to get something out from the back.

I traveled to the back of the store to see if my assumptions were true,

"Ahhh yes, I knew those Paul brothers were hiding something," I said as I reached into a tiny brown bag.

"WAIT is this... what I think it is" I started to pull out the tiny little stone. The brown glow was intense.

"THIS IS THE FUCKING FREDDYSTONE!, THE PROPHECIES ARE COMING TRUE". I YELLED,

"PUPPET, WE WILL FREE YOU AND STOP YOUR MORTAL ENEMY *****" I EXCLAIMED. I turned to head back into the store. What I saw was the NIGGA holding the Bag looking into it.

"WHEN WILL YOUR KIND LEARN TO OBEY THE WHITE MAN, YOU DUMB NIGGERS" I YELLED. "HEY YOU, TINY LOOKING NIGGA, PUNCH THIS NIGGA IN THE FACE OR ILL POP A CAP IN BOTH OF YOUR ASSES," I yelled.

"Wha.." Said the lil NIGGA

"DO IT"

"I SORRY TYREES," said the lil NIGGA as he punched the NIGGA TYREES.

"NO, YOU DUMB FUCK, THERE IS A BOMB..." But that was all TYREES could say before the whole store exploded with the same force of me beefing your mum (SPOILER ALERT, THAT'S A LOT OF FUCKING FORCE).

Luckily, Myself, MY sexy bride, and you, her son Jeremy, escaped like badasses.

"Oh Fuck, I forgot that I belted the shit out of you", I guess I'll just leave a note".

Dearest Jeremy,

Fuck what I just said about not being like me.

The puppet will soon return

As will his enemy.

I leave you with the Freddy STONE.

I...

Need to go and find an Old Friend.

Don't let anyone have that stone

It is vital to save the World

Sincerely Molex Aore

"Guess its time to travel to Flavor Town." Said Molex. "The fate of the world is on the line".


	3. The Hero Returns

"I lived a hero and I'll die a hero," said Jam Sackson, as he was gunned down for murdering 74 fucking children and 21 staff at local elementary school Benns Valley. *BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG* (Not everyone saw Jam as a hero) Jam opened up his eyes, wondering why the actual shitload of bullets just fired at him had not penetrated his thick body. "What the actual Narf broskis, whymst am I not dead". "I, Jam Sackson, being the Young Sheldon Intellectual that I am, have deduced that with my good deeds in the name of Allah, have stopped time and avoided being murdered by these western pig dog" Said Jam as he got out of his restraints and walked towards the cops. "God damn, you make it really hard to root for you, Jam," said a distant voice, getting gradually closer. "Stay back mysterious voice, I can control time!" said Jam Sackson, getting into a combat stance. "Shut the fuck up you retarded motherfucker, you don't control time retard, I do. And the only reason your bitch as is alive is because my old friend asked for a favor. Be grateful you fat COCKSUCKING NIGGER" said the voice, grabbing Jam by the neck. "W-w-whomst are you?" said Jam, who literally pissed his pants(Like a queer). "I'm motherfucking Guy Ramsay Fieri, host of Guy's Grocery Games" yelled Guy, throwing Jam against a wall. Jam got up and ran towards Guy. "Do you know who I am?" said Jam going in for a punch. Guy swiftly dodged his punch and grabbed Jams arm. "Noooooooo, I don't, it's not like I have been referring to you as Jam. I mean do have another fucking name. How about cumguzler, do you like that name you slut. How about Tiny Penis Gay Lord. Of course, I know your name you Fucking Moron." Whispered Guy as he slapped Jams neck, knocking him out. Guy teleported himself and Jam back to flavor town, where Molex Aore was waiting. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED" Yelled Molex Aore as he ran up to Guy and Jam. "Jam went full retard and tried to attack me, so I knocked him out," said Guy, throwing Jam on to a bench. "KNOCKED HIM OUT, HIS FUCKING NECK IS BROKEN, HOW DID YOU KNOCK HIM OUT MY HOMESLICE". Yelled Molex as he pulled out a first aid kit and checked for Jam's Pulse. "Well, I slapped him on the neck," said Guy, admiring his very large and sexy muscles. "Well good job dipshit, he's fucking dead. Go back in time and get another Jam, and please don't kill him this time". "I need the stone then," said Guy, "My powers are depleted" "Gooooooooddddddd Dammmmmnnnn it you punk ass bitch. Fine, take the Chica Stone, but you better bring it right back, understood!" said Molex as he tossed Guy the Chica Stone. - "I'm back, and this time he is not dead" exclaimed Guy. "God Damn, only took 4 times," said Molex. "Where the Narf am I, Broski," said Jam, looking around in amazement at the Hi-tech base they were in. "Welcome to Flavor Town, this is my vacation home," said Molex, ejaculating at his amazing house. "Whymst was I saved brotatochip," asked Jam(Fucking Moron) "So I could Suck you Off Idiot," said Molex. "W-what, that's gay broski," said Jam, backing away. "Okay, first of all, stop with this retarded ass broski shit, we are not friends, and second of all, I'm not sucking you off, it was Sarcasm dumbass" Yelled Molex, "Then why am I here," said Jam. "You really are retarded, look around, isn't it obvious, the puppets return is imminent, and so is his enemy. We need to act fast and get a team together to stop her enemy. If this enemy gets the Freddy stones, all hope will be lost." explained Molex. "So how does this involve me?" asked Jam. "Are you fucking kidding, you're the only one on the planet who can kill so many people in so little time. Now, are you in. Or do I have to send you back to the firing squad" said Molex "...Fine, I'll help, where do we need to go first," said Jam. "We need to find Waddler Essel, and the foxy stone he is guarding." Said Molex


	4. Waddler Essel, The 4th Hero

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" asked the Team Retard (The Team Retard is Jam for those who are mentally slow) as he was panting from exhaustion.

"JAM, I AM THIS FUCKING CLOSE TO COMMITTING A HATE CRIME ON YOUR HUMPTY DUMPTY LOOKIN ASS. DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE ARE HERE? NOOOOOO! I MEAN FOR FUCK SAKE'S WE ARE STILL IN FLAVOR TOWN, YOU FUCKING MORON. HOW OLD ARE YOU, 4? I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY EXHAUSTED I WILL RAPE YOUR WHOLE DAMN FAMILY. ONE MORE QUESTION AND I WILL BLOW YOUR ASS AWAY! whispered Molex as he was loading a 50 Caliber Handgun.

"Sorry, what happened again, I wasn't listenin..,." was all Jam could say before 6 *BANGS* went through that tiny thing in his head one would call a brain.

"Guy! GUY! COME QUICK! We need a new Jam. This one umm... this one fell down the stairs and cracked his neck." Said Molex as he quickly hid his handgun up his BIG BOOTY.

"OKAY, I'll bring him by the rendezvous point in 2 hours, I need to film a Guy's Grocery Games so I can keep the income rolling in" Said Guy, getting in his very sexy car and driving off.

"Fuck, guess I have to find Waddler alone," Said Molex, entering his very own Molex-Copter.

* 19 YEARS, 4 MONTHS, 2 WEEKS, 5 HOURS AGO IN SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH*

"WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING YOU WALKING POPSICLE STICK" Moaned Waddler's Father as he slammed the front door shut and grabbed Waddler's arm.

"I'm going to join the Marine Corps Dad, god your such a fucking cunt!" said Waddler, pulling out the Deagle he "Borrowed" from Walmart.

"I want you out of my fucking house right now. You understand me... you are no son of mine" said Waddler's Ex-Dad pulling open the door and shoving Waddler out of the house.

"What a bitch" Said Waddler "Whelp time to join the Marines, they'll accept me like family"

Waddler gladly walked the 43 miles to the Marine recruitment center to show off his MARINE CORP SPIRIT. When he arrived at the center, he was greeted by the one and only Joe AshShit.

"GOOD AFTERNOON, I AM JOE ASHSHIT, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME SERG ASHSHIT! NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU WANT TO JOIN THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS!" Yelled Joe, in a very dark, marine-y voice.

"Sir Yes Sir, as you can see, I am in prime Physical Condition" bragged Waddler, showing off his sick bod.

"Holy FUck, that is nasty, I Can literally see your bones. PRIME CONDITION MY ASS. More like prime condition to be in an anorexic Care Facility. There is only one way you could be a Marine" Yelled Joe, vomiting in a nearby trashcan.

"Wait, I can still be a Marine?" said Waddler Essel, feeling down about his physical appearance.

"Shit, I didn't mean to say that," said Joe, covering his mouth with his big muscles.

"Tell Me, Come one"

"No"

"I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU TO TELL ME. You have to tell me now" said Waddler, laughing at how he outsmarted a genius.

"FUCK, Fine, I'll tell you. You could join our top secret super soldier program and help liberate the hellholes on the miserable planet." Moaned Joe, realizing that he'll probably lose his job for revealing this important info.

"Fuck yeah, that sound awesome, where do I sign..." was all Waddler could say before Joe threw a bag over Waddler's head and pulled him into the back room.

*2 Minutes Later*

"WHERE THE FUCK AM I, I DEMAND ANSWERS AT ONCE, JOE, I'LL RAPE YOUR FUCKING MOM IF YOU DONT LET ME OUT" Yelled Waddler as he pounded on the capsule he was trapped in.

"You want to be a marine, don't you? This is what it takes," said Joe, with a grin on his face. Joe pulled a lever on the capsule and green liquids poured into the machine. Soon the Liquid completely covered Waddler.

*14 Seconds later*

"AHHHHHHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHH" whispered Waddler as he was in an extreme amount of pain, Like imagine passing a kidney stone and childbirth combined.

"Its done" was all Joe said before releasing Waddler.

Waddler fell out of the capsule like the vibrator of loose granny pussy. When Waddler finally got up, he went to a mirror and admired the work the magic steroids did on his body.

"Daaaaammmmn Essel, you looking fine as heck" Whispered Joe, secretly hoping Waddler didn't here him.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY QWEER, I'LL KILL YOU FUCKING NIGGERFAGGOT. GAY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. DEATH TO FAGS'' yelled Waddler as he beat the living shit out of Qweer Joe.

"No-ooooo-mooore," said Joe as he passed away from blood loss.

*RING**RING**RING*

"Where the hell is that fucking phone," said Waddler, searching the room for the telephone."Ahh here it is"

"Hello, It is I, President Bill Clinton. I have a mission for you Waddler, I am sending you to Detroit to kill the Evil Mayor Black Face and his Army of Niggers." said current president Bill Clinton.

"Sir, no disrespect, but I'm in Fucking Utah without a vehicle," said Waddler.

"Look Outside" Said Clinton as a really fucking cool Jet landed in the street, crushing 8 black children who were skipping school (FUCKING NIGGERS I SWEAR).

"FUCK YEAH, LET'S KILL SOME NIGGERS," SAID Clinton and Waddler together.

The flight from Utah to DC to Detroit to a Long ass time but when they finally arrived, they knew shit was about to go down.

"Here Waddler, take this," said Clinton as he gave Waddler a Frisbee.

"Thanks?" said Waddler as he put it in his backpack.

"Now let's go Kill some Niggers," said Clinton, pulling out a Glock.

To summarize, basically, Waddler and Clinton killed almost all the black population of Detroit until they came across Blackface's main minion, Tyron.

"Hey, bitch ass nigger, tell me wheremst BlaceFace is or I'll kill those Black Children," said Waddler, pulling out his Deagle and aiming at the children.

"You wou*BANG*ldn't *BANG* Holy FUCK*BANG*ING SHIT, I'll Talk, he's in that shit shack over there," said Tyron, pissing himself.

"Why Nigger," asked Waddler.

"BECAUSE HE STOPPED GETTING WELFARE SO HE CANT AFFORD A GOOD HOUSE, DAm..." Tyron Said before Clinton Shot him.

Clinton and Waddler walked to the shit shack and pulled out BlackFace.

"YO MY NIGGA, IM HERE TO KILL YOU," said Waddler, pulling out his Deagle and putting it to his head.

"HE HE HE, I've already won. I planted a White Bomb on your plane, cool plane btw, and it will kill all the whit..." *BANG* said BlackFace.

"Come on Clinton, We need to save the better half of America." Exclaimed Waddler.

The Dou Climbed aboard the plane and flew it to Alaska. Then they aimed for the Icy Water.

"Clinton, goodbye, it has been an honor. WHHHHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTEEEE..." was Waddler said before he crashed the Jet into the water.

*PRESENT*

"POOOOOOOWWWWWWWWEEEEEEERRRRRRR" yelled Waddler. "Wait, where are we, how am I alive. WHOMST ARE YOU."

"I Defrosted your ungrateful ass. And I am Molex. This the Group Retard Jam, and this is Guy." said Molex, introducing the others.

"Hi, my Broski," said jam, waving.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP NIGGER" yelled Waddler, he turned to Molex. "Why did you save me?"

"I detected the Foxy Stone in your possession, and I need it to defeat the puppets enemy."Said Molex, searching his bag.

"It is in the Frisbee," said Clinton, grabbing the Frisbee.

"Thanks, former president Clinton"Said Molex, admiring the Foxy Stone.

"FORMER?!" yelled Clinton, panicking at the fact he is no longer president.

"Anywho, I have a question for you would you two like to join the Her-Vengers, Clinton, you can be in charge of operating and recruiting new members and Waddler, you're one of the best shots on the planet. What do you say?" said Molex, reaching out his hand.

"We're in," said Waddler and Clinton.

"Good, Clinton, here is your first Mission, Locate Karkath-man."


	5. Karkath-Man

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I THINK I HAVE FOUND OUT WHO KARKATH MAN IS" Yelled Bill Clinton, as he was running up the stairs with a hefty stack of Papers.

"Let me see those papers, Mr. Clinton," said Molex, taking the papers from Bill.

"So as you can see-" said Clinton before he was cut off by an angry and confused Molex.

"Listen here you Punk ass bitch, I made you the FUCKING NICK FURY Character! AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GIVE ME. I WANT YOU TO Tell ME WHAT THE FUCK A BUNCH OF FBI GUINEA PIGS HAS TO DO WITH KARKATH-MAN!" Whispered a regretful Molex.

"Well, before you Cumguzeling Ass Bitch, rudely interrupted, as you can see the Award Winning Script of "G-Force" was written by none other than Karkath-Man, so if we just travel to the G-force set, we could find Karkath-m" was all Clinton said before Molex turned on the pre-recorded Newscast.

"Truth is, I am Karkath-Man," said Tony Kark, as tones of claps where heard in the background.

"Bill, this was 3 weeks ago, Your dumb bitch ass has been sitting in my basement staring at the G-Force Wikipedia article for 3 DAMN WEEKS. I literally went Down to your computer last night and looked at your browser history. It WAS FUCKING RULE 34 G-FORCE RAPE FETISH PORN! I Had hope, I really did Bill, Actually, no I didn't, I lost Hope in this Damn team when Jam hopped on a Black midget and said: "giddy up Niglet". Fuck my ASS WITH A BIG BLACK COCK, I AM SO FUCKED. WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE. No, Keep it together Molex. Karkath-Man will be better. He has to be." said Molex, while whipping stress Nigger (It's a play on a stress ball for all the Jams in the audience).

"I'm... sorry Molex," said Bill, frightened at what Molex has become.

"Just get in the fucking Molex-Copter" Said Molex.

3 weeks earlier

Well, fellas, we did it, We stopped the evil Stidiah Obane, brought peace to the streets of Seattle, and had the best threesomes money can buy." said Tony Kark, picking up Darwin of the G-Force.

"You can say that again, partner, well what our next moves," said Darwin, eating out his own Ass.

"Well, if I could please add my input. You should reveal to the world your Karkath-man, it wo..." Was all Mooch the Housefly and member of G-force could say before Tony Kark fucking killed him with a fly swatter.

"MOOCH, NO" Yelled Darwin, Blaster, and Juarez as they ran over to their fucking dead friend, who looked more like a bloody piece of shit rather than a fly.

"Fetching Fly I swear, although he does have a point. If I reveal to the world that I am Karkath-Man, I'd probably get more Pussy than ever before," said Tony Kark, chuckling at this genius plan.

"TONY, YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" Yelled the G-FORCE as they attacked Tony Kark. But since they are fucking guinea pigs, they did little damage.

"Go fuck your selves, I thought we were a team, but you go and attack me? Well you're off the team, Anywho I have an announcement to the world I have to make, so Bye Bitches," said Tony Kark as he got in his Lamborghini.

"WE WILL HAVE OUR REVENGE KARKATH MAN," Said the G-Force as they geared up.

Present

"MAN I LOVE FUCKING PUSSY," said Tony Kark, as he was having a threesome. Suddenly, the Molex-Copter landed on the helipad.

"Tony Kark, I've come to bargain," said Guy Feiri, pulling out his AK.

"No, Guy, let me do the talking, you are only here to make sure Jam and Clinton don't fuck something up. Anywho, what up Homie" said Molex, looking at Tony Kark, who was dressing.

"Bitch, I was just finishing up my threesome party, want to join?" said Tony Kark, buttoning up his pimp pants.

"Ok, first of all, that wasn't a threesome, that was gay sex and a witness, a real threesome is 2 woman, 1 man. Second of all, we'll pass, we have a more important job," said Molex pulling out some files from his briefcase.

"What Job?" said Tony Kark, a little steamed by Molex's comment on threesomes.

" Well, first of all, we are a team of "Heros" called the Her-vengers and we wanted you to join our team," said Molex, pulling a shield out of his bag.

"Why should I join you, fellas? said Tony Kark. A red dot was fixated on his head.

"Because we saved your life," said Molex as a Bang was heard. Molex raised the diamond shield and attempted to block the bullet, but missed.

"FUCK, I MISSED" yelled Molex as Tony Kark fell to the ground dead. "Guy, we need to go back in time and try this again, God damn, I knew we should have brought our shield specialist, now I look like a cunt," said Molex as he grabbed onto Guy's shoulder and traveled back 2 mins.

"Why should I join you, fellas? said Tony Kark. A red dot was fixated on his head.

"Because we saved your life," said Molex as he grabbed Jam's fat ass and threw him in front of the bullet.

"Broski's, I'M hit," said jam, as his fucking arm was blown the fuck off.

"bummer. Anywho, your welcome". Said Molex.

"WHO THE FUCK DID THIS, I'LL FUCKING DISINIGRATE THEM!" YELLED Tony Kark as he jumped off his balcony. "KARVIS, SUIT ME UP". Suddenly, Karkath-Man flew over the Her-vengers.

"We are so fucked," said the G-Force as Karkath-man flew over to them.

"Yes, you are," said Karkath-Man as he disintegrated the G-Forces gear.

"You don't fuck with Karkath. But you're also not worth the energy to kill" said Karkath.

"I may have a suggestion," said Clinton, completely naked.

"Molex, I'll gladly join the Her-vengers. Quick question, what will Clinton do with the G-Force?" said Karkath.

"Fuck them," said Molex.

"Oh," said Karkath.

"Yeah, on our way over he was watching G-Force Porn," said Molex.

"He is weird," said Karkath.

"Oh really, thanks for pointing out the obvious, dickhead" SCREAMED Molex.

"So, this is the Karkath-man," said waddler.

"Yep, in the flesh, "said Karkath.

"Guys, I need to leave for a while, I'm going to find the last 2 Freddy stones. Please, Please, Do NOT Tear this team Apart. Can you both promise me this?" asked Molex, hoping that Waddler and Tony are not as fucked up as the rest of the team.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck niggers," said waddler, whipping the stress nigger.

"Yeah whatever, yo waddler, give me a whip my guy," said Karkath, as he too whipped the nigger.

"We are fucked" Molex moaned under his breath as he hopped into the Molex-Copter and flew off.


	6. KKKaptain America

"Waddler Essel, the KKKaptain America, I have a Job for you," said Molex Aore, as he pulled up a digital map on his sexy as fuck 40 in Computer Monitor.

"Let me guess, I have to kill that nigger in the oval office." Said Waddler, pulling out his Frisbee. (For the Fucking Retards in the Audience, Like Jam, the Frisbee Is a shield, for fuck's sake I should not have to explain that the rip off captain America uses a shield. Fucking Idiots I swear).

"NOW HOLD THE FUCK ON YOU FUCKING NIGGER HATER, YOU LET ME GO THROUGH THE MISSION BRIEFING AT MY OWN DAMN PACE. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I CAME TO YOU IN DETROIT 19 YEARS AGO AND SAID, so you fucking the old white man, PRETTY FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT. I SWEAR TO FUCK, JUST LET ME DO MY JOB, AND I'LL LET YOU DO YOURS, WE CLEAR!" whispered Molex as he threw his fucking Mouse at the screen, breaking It. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK". Molex sat down in his chair and just sobbed, like fucking cried for like 2 mins straight. "Just go kill President OBUNGA".

"Alright, damn, chill, you alright?" said Waddler, concerned at how Molex emotionally broke down.

"I'm fine, just go and kill Obunga," said Molex, getting up from his chair and grabbing the T.V remote.

"Are you sure? I can stay and Talk about it" said Waddler, grabbing a tissue for Molex.

"JUST FUCKING GO, DO YOU NEED THE COTTON PICKED FROM YOUR EARS. GOOD THING YOUR GOING TO KILL THE NIGGER RUNNING THE COUNTRY THEN. HE CAN PICK IT FOR YOU. I AM FINE, GO FUCK OFF. DAMN GOAT FUCKING NIGGER". screamed Molex as he threw his remote at the window, shattering all the damn windows in the house.

"I should probably leave," said Waddler as he ran out of the house and hopped in his Jet, the NIGGER KILLER 2000.

"JAM, COME THE FUCK HERE!" yelled Molex, picking up a shard of glass.

"What's up Broski, woah you made a real mess" exclaimed Jam, looking at the devastation.

"FUCK OFF YOU DILDO IN ASS LOOKING CUMCRUNCHER" Whispered Molex as he stabbed Jam 43 times in the head before contacting Guy to get another Jam. The T.V turned on, probably because of the fact the remote hit the ground and turned it on. Wait, I'm the author. It did hit the ground and turned on the T.V. God, I feel POWER. "SHUT THE FUCK UP ALEX" yelled Molex, who is gay :). "I'm not gay btw," said Molex, covering up the lies the nigger of an author put out.

"I am Karkath-Man," said Tony Kark.

"Huh, well I'm certain Bill Clinton already knows about this then, and will certainly not be looking at the G-Force wiki page for 3 weeks," said Molex, calmed down from his fit of rage.

"Okay Molex, I'm in D.C, what now?" asked waddler, putting the NIGGER KILLER 2000 in hover mode.

"What, I told you to kill Obunga, Jesus fucking Christ. And don't call me Molex on an unsecured radio channel so close to the white house, Moron. Over" said Molex.

"What do you prefer you be called?" asked Waddler, checking his equipment.

"How about you do the damn mission and not call me, for fuck's sake. Over," said Molex.

"Guess I'm all alone," said Waddler, throwing off his headset. "Now, how do I want to kill that dirty Nigger, I could A, Just Bomb the White House. Or B, get the satisfaction with killing Obunga with my strong, white hands. I'll go with B. WHITE POWER" yelled Waddler as he jumped out of his plane and landed on the White house front lawn.

"FUCK, I forgot my guns in the Nigger Killer 2000. I am fucked. How the fuck am I going to kill the SECRET FUCKING SERVICE with a damn Frisbee." moaned Waddler, realizing he fucked up.

"Freeze, Secret Service, you are under arrest for being on the white house front lawn, anything you say can and will be used against your racist Ass!" yelled like 20 secret service agents at the time.

"Fuck It," said, Waddler, as he threw the Frisbee at one of the secret service agents. Suddenly, the Foxy Stone inside the Frisbee activated. The Frisbee picked of speed, hit the agent In the neck, decapitating him, and then ricocheted around, killing everyone but one guard.

"What the actual fuck was that," said the guard, pissing and shitting his pants at the same time.

That... is a really good question, let me throw this fucking murder Frisbee at you and see what happens "said Waddler. Waddler threw the Frisbee at the guards head and it fucking exploded. Like, imagine a bomb going off from inside a watermelon.

"I have an Idea," said Waddler, picking up one of the deceased guards clothing. "Time to go incognegro".

Waddler, now dressed like Dutch the security guard, infiltrated the white house. He made his way to the door of the Oval Office when he was stopped by the lone guard at the door.

"Hey Dutch, can we speak for a minute?" asked the security guard.

"Sure thing um, George," said Waddler, looking at George's name tag, "What's Up?"

"Well, as you know, my mother was recently killed in a horrific car crash that left her unrecognizable. When I came in to identify her body, I puked. I was just wondering, how do you deal with the pain of losing a loved one?" said George, tearing up.

Fuck, don't say something stupid. Don't say something stupid. "I Raped your daughter in her tight, virgin asshole, while your father, who was tied up and barely conscious, was forced to watch. When your daughter screamed for help, I'd cut off one of her fingers until she passed out from shock. She kept asking, "Where's daddy? Where's daddy?" Do you know what I told her? I said "he is guarding that nigger of a president and he no longer loves you. She hung herself because of you. She is still hanging. And guess what, I'm the fucker who ran over your mom's car with a steamroller, while she was in it, so how do I deal with the pain of losing a loved one, I take the lives of other away." said Waddler grabbing Georges neck. Waddler looked into George's eyes. And saw sorrow, and anger, and regret. Waddler chuckled as he snapped George's neck with one hand.

Waddler then kicked open the door to the oval office and ran in. There he saw Obunga.

"I knew you would show up, KKKaptain America. What do you want, another black majority town to kill?" asked Obunga turning around and aiming a gun at Waddler.

"It is over Obunga, I have a fucking Frisbee," said Waddler. But it was too late, Obunga had fired the gun at Waddler. Waddler fell to the floor, severely injured.

Obunga got into Waddler's face and said "How does it feel to die to a nigger, huh. You spent your military life killing us and here you are, about to die from one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"NO, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. WHEN I JOINED THE MARINE CORPS 19 YEARS AGO, I VOWED THE FOLLOW THE OATH " ALWAYS LOYAL" AND WELL, I'M LOYAL TO THE HER-VENGERS! TO MY COUNTRY! TO THE WHITE RACE! " Screamed Waddler as he bolted up and grabbed Obunga by the neck. "This power is immense. It seems that the thought of losing to a NIGGER was enough to permanently raise my strength 10-fold!"

"Whhha...aat at *COUGH* are you," said Obunga, wheezing from lack of air.

"I AM KKKAPTAIN AMERICA, THE FOURTH HERO, AND PROUD MARINE!" yelled Waddler as he punched Obunga's head so hard, it was launched off that niggers head... and landed in Michigan.

"Waddler, come in! I am detecting a massive power surge in the D.C area. What's going on?" called Molex from the Molex Manor.

"It is me, my rage peaked and I punched Obunga's head off to Michigan," said waddler, flexing at his more muscular body.

"Well come back to my Manor, Karkath-Man is here and I need to tell you both something," said Molex.

"Copy that, I'll be there shortly," said Waddler, hopping in the NIGGER KILLER 2000.

*FOR THOSE CUNTS WHO SKIPPED THE ENDING OF KARKAT-MAN, read it*


End file.
